What Happens When "Yes" Means Nothing

The most damaging thing in a lot of businesses isn't a bad strategy. It's a casual "yes." Before I walked into a workshop late last year, the owner pulled me aside. Frustrated. "I want the focus to be on Responsibility. My team drops the ball on the small things. Following up for testimonials, asking for feedback. There's a system - I created it. But they just don't use it." I nodded. And something my business coach told me about ten years ago came to mind immediately: "You get what you give, so don't complain." I filed it, and went in to deliver the session. At the end, I asked the group if they'd be willing to complete a quick feedback form. It would help me understand what worked, what didn't, what to improve. Every single person said yes. I sent the link that day. Four days later I followed up. The operations manager replied instantly. "Of course. I'll remind the team right away." Nothing. Three weeks later I ran into her at a networking event. I wasn't chasing the feedback anymore. The moment had passed. But I did want to name something. "I made that request three times. Three times you said yes. That's a promise - and all three times, it was broken. " I told her I don't need it anymore. But I want her to sit with two things:

How many other promises are you and the team unintentionally breaking with clients and each other? And why do you think your clients don't give testimonials when they are the lifeblood of what you do? She didn't respond. Because she didn't need to. Here's the thing: Most broken cultures don't have a system problem. They have a "yes" problem. Too often people treat "yes" as a social move. To keep the peace. Avoid awkwardness. Signal goodwill. But "yes" isn't a feeling. It's a commitment. The moment you say it - to a client, a colleague, a stranger after a workshop - you've made a promise.

And when you don't follow through, it doesn't just cost you the task. It costs you your word. And your word, over time, becomes your reputation. What's worse? The same people who casually break their yeses... are usually the ones most frustrated when others break theirs. The other day I bumped into the CEO. Same team. Same complaints. Same results. The culture didn't have a system problem. If anything they were over-systemised.

It had a language problem. A commitment and follow-through problem.

That 'bump' reminded me why this matters. It's what motivated me to write this email.

You don't get to complain about what others won't give you - if you won't give it first. So I'll leave you with this: Where are you saying "yes" to avoid the discomfort of "no"... and quietly breaking a promise you never intended to keep? You get what you give. If you won't do for others what you expect from them - you've already answered your own complaint.